Last Movie I Saw In A Movie Theatre? Don't even remember, probably a haitian film about two years ago.
What Book Are You Reading? Organize your personal finances… in no time; Outlander series; various recipes.
Favourite Board Game? Don't really have a fav but I played scattegories last night and I woke up thinking of more stupid words!!
Favourite Magazine? Canadian Living, anything with good recipes
Favourite Smells? Clean babies, Sundried laundry
Favourite Sounds? Chinaido’s giggle
Worst Feeling In The World? Leaving all my babies in Haiti
First Thing You Think of When You Wake? I don’t wanna get up!
Favourite Fast Food Place? at the moment its subway
Future Child’s Name? Orland for sure, Paola, raelle and several others are still in the works
Finish This Statement—“If I Had a Lot of Money,… my house would be full of kids!”
Do You Drive Fast? Depends if the person in front of me is driving slow.
Do You Sleep With a Stuffed Animal? E’s arch enemy... Bear-Bear
Storms—cool or scary? Tres cool, love them.
What Was Your First Car? Ford gts, it hated me.
Favourite Drink? Shirley temple with extra cherry and an umbrella
Finish This Statement—“If I Had the Time, I Would… finish all my unfinished projects and ideas”
Do You Eat the Stems on Broccoli? Yes, so good, they taste better then the flourettes
If You could Dye your Hair Any Other Color, What Would It Be? If I knew that I would have done it already.
Favourite Sport to Watch? soccer and figure skating
What’s Under Your Bed? Antique clothes drying rack
Would You Like to Be Born As Yourself Again? Would I have a choice?
Morning Person or Night Owl? neither
Over Easy or Sunny Side Up? Eggs make me gag.
Favourite Place to Relax? Kaliko beach… mmmm beach.
Favourite Ice Cream Flavour? Island Farms peanut butter fudge
Monday, December 7, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
ok this ones just to get myself into a better habit of writing more often. so apologies if I ramble.
I just had a fantastic visit with Morgan Xavier and hope that we can keep it up more often, I love to hear all that's going on in her life. She's great!
Its startling to realize how little I interact with other people (offline), work not included. I think its getting to me, I am not naturally extroverted and so I easily fall into a don't-want-go-out-at-all routine which I am finding isn't good, not good at all. So I have to consciously find ways to see or at least talk to the people I love and get to know the people I don't. I heard of a family that has stopped giving gifts for the holidays (scandalous!) but instead they offer services of themselves, whatever their talents or knowledge may be. How much more meaningful is that? Isn't that what the spirit of giving really means, to give of yourself. I also read a story of a woman who challenged herself with 50 days of selfless acts, and now it is an easy habit for her and her entire family. This is the direction I would much prefer to see myself going in. I abhor being stagnant, but I'm very good at it, tragically.
I am working on thinking positively and listening to my instincts, willingly going outside of my comfort zone, especially with E. The meaning of life phases are never easy, I just hope there is a happy ending, depression medication not-withstanding.
Cheers to my two faithful readers I'm off to finish the dishes before the motivation leaves me crafting instead!
I just had a fantastic visit with Morgan Xavier and hope that we can keep it up more often, I love to hear all that's going on in her life. She's great!
Its startling to realize how little I interact with other people (offline), work not included. I think its getting to me, I am not naturally extroverted and so I easily fall into a don't-want-go-out-at-all routine which I am finding isn't good, not good at all. So I have to consciously find ways to see or at least talk to the people I love and get to know the people I don't. I heard of a family that has stopped giving gifts for the holidays (scandalous!) but instead they offer services of themselves, whatever their talents or knowledge may be. How much more meaningful is that? Isn't that what the spirit of giving really means, to give of yourself. I also read a story of a woman who challenged herself with 50 days of selfless acts, and now it is an easy habit for her and her entire family. This is the direction I would much prefer to see myself going in. I abhor being stagnant, but I'm very good at it, tragically.
I am working on thinking positively and listening to my instincts, willingly going outside of my comfort zone, especially with E. The meaning of life phases are never easy, I just hope there is a happy ending, depression medication not-withstanding.
Cheers to my two faithful readers I'm off to finish the dishes before the motivation leaves me crafting instead!
Friday, November 20, 2009
OK so clearly I am not good with this regular updates idea. I don't know what it is, maybe too much happens before I get a chance to write and then I don't know where to start or what to say. Sounds fairly acurate to me.
SO travel dilema... I am travelling in the spring sans husband (his choice), but now he thinks it frees him up to travel to Haiti (sans wife). This is not ok with me but I can't seem to explain it to him well enough for him to understand where I am coming from. He is just immigrating and I understand the pain of seperation from friends and family, and all the work of adjusting, I get it, I do, I went through the same thing when I was there. Without the support of an understanding spouse. But I can't get him to comprehend that it does get better, he will get comfortable in his surroundings and he will get to see his friends and family again. Just not yet, to go now would only result in further anxiety over the choice of coming and having a new family, it would seem a lot more logical to give it up when your not in the face of it. ARRG! so frustrating... maybe this is why I don't write often, its always frustration or unpleasant things. We need a mediator, he seems to just close his ears when I speak, with him thinking his is the only way. I know we will survive and everything will turnout ok, I just want the adjusting period to be as painless as possible for us both. This is all I got for right now. The dishes are calling me.
SO travel dilema... I am travelling in the spring sans husband (his choice), but now he thinks it frees him up to travel to Haiti (sans wife). This is not ok with me but I can't seem to explain it to him well enough for him to understand where I am coming from. He is just immigrating and I understand the pain of seperation from friends and family, and all the work of adjusting, I get it, I do, I went through the same thing when I was there. Without the support of an understanding spouse. But I can't get him to comprehend that it does get better, he will get comfortable in his surroundings and he will get to see his friends and family again. Just not yet, to go now would only result in further anxiety over the choice of coming and having a new family, it would seem a lot more logical to give it up when your not in the face of it. ARRG! so frustrating... maybe this is why I don't write often, its always frustration or unpleasant things. We need a mediator, he seems to just close his ears when I speak, with him thinking his is the only way. I know we will survive and everything will turnout ok, I just want the adjusting period to be as painless as possible for us both. This is all I got for right now. The dishes are calling me.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Good morning, good morning we slept the whole night through, good morning, good morning to you!
Nothing quite like starting the morning with a song, I love it, actually I think I don't even do it on purpose. My sister and I often finish our sentances or conversation by breaking out in song, its good times. I love my sister.
Good mood? you ask. Why yes indeed. Perchance this medication is not so bad as the 1st week foretold. I suppose one can only go down so far before any advancement is forced to go up. hmm well its about time, and hopefully it sticks around.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
I've finally lost it!
Oh goodness, what a week of horrors, must be that time of year again. The season changes for me happen frequently, too frequently for my liking... The seasons I mean are the emotional ones. Summer is long gone, though I spent the last two months in the Caribbean I couldn't actually tell you the last time I had summer to tell the truth. Will someone please assure me that the life of the clinically depressed is not the eternal damnation of winter. Don't get me wrong I love the real winter, but holy jeez, somethings gotta give!
Let me assure you that when in a low emotional state yourself, that is bound to frustrate and stagnate the rest of your household, which turns back to bite you in the ... and its doesn't seem to just bite and let go, for unknown reasons it hangs on. and on.
I have quite the bruised arse at the moment.
Enter new meds. yay, or not. A point that is still up for debate. Constantly dizzy, nauseous, spacey, confused, zero energy and most definitely self-deprecating. Makes me wonder about all those times I hear people say that depression is all in one's head, as if its a choice! really now. Kinda like being fat, no matter how compassionate you are your helpful hints definitely don't help, because one just doesn't have the ability to comprehend with out being in the same position. There seems to be alot of that going around.
And finally the well worn words of "what now?"
good question, I have no clue. Lucky for me I have a great support team, when I allow them to support me, and a fair bit of creativity. Luck indeed. hmm yeah I still have no answers but I am grateful that I finally starting to learn how to ask the questions.
oh right, speaking of lost, I can't find my camera battery charger ANYWHERE!? so sad I can't even take pictures of my beautifully crafted apple hand tarts. YUM and pretty too, but you wouldn't know it, but you can take my word for it and try it yourself HERE.
Let me assure you that when in a low emotional state yourself, that is bound to frustrate and stagnate the rest of your household, which turns back to bite you in the ... and its doesn't seem to just bite and let go, for unknown reasons it hangs on. and on.
I have quite the bruised arse at the moment.
Enter new meds. yay, or not. A point that is still up for debate. Constantly dizzy, nauseous, spacey, confused, zero energy and most definitely self-deprecating. Makes me wonder about all those times I hear people say that depression is all in one's head, as if its a choice! really now. Kinda like being fat, no matter how compassionate you are your helpful hints definitely don't help, because one just doesn't have the ability to comprehend with out being in the same position. There seems to be alot of that going around.
And finally the well worn words of "what now?"
good question, I have no clue. Lucky for me I have a great support team, when I allow them to support me, and a fair bit of creativity. Luck indeed. hmm yeah I still have no answers but I am grateful that I finally starting to learn how to ask the questions.
oh right, speaking of lost, I can't find my camera battery charger ANYWHERE!? so sad I can't even take pictures of my beautifully crafted apple hand tarts. YUM and pretty too, but you wouldn't know it, but you can take my word for it and try it yourself HERE.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Sel Bondye konnen
Welcome to my crazy life as a wife... or perhaps its my life as a crazy wife. Sel Bondye konnen, as we say in Haiti, Only God knows.
Tonight is the first night of the marriage course I've signed us up for. Mari mwen seems to have forgotten that I told him of this last week, and the poor dear had to up and cancel his plans with the boys tonight. shucks.
I hope we learn something productive, not that our marriage is in the shitter; its just been a rough year and though we are nearly in year two of wedded bliss, we have been in the same country for a mere month. let me sum it up in one word. IMMIGRATION. ugh. need I say more? oh don't worry I will, its just that its time to go and I will need a LOT more time to fill you in on all the details.
Tonight is the first night of the marriage course I've signed us up for. Mari mwen seems to have forgotten that I told him of this last week, and the poor dear had to up and cancel his plans with the boys tonight. shucks.
I hope we learn something productive, not that our marriage is in the shitter; its just been a rough year and though we are nearly in year two of wedded bliss, we have been in the same country for a mere month. let me sum it up in one word. IMMIGRATION. ugh. need I say more? oh don't worry I will, its just that its time to go and I will need a LOT more time to fill you in on all the details.
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