ok this ones just to get myself into a better habit of writing more often. so apologies if I ramble.
I just had a fantastic visit with Morgan Xavier and hope that we can keep it up more often, I love to hear all that's going on in her life. She's great!
Its startling to realize how little I interact with other people (offline), work not included. I think its getting to me, I am not naturally extroverted and so I easily fall into a don't-want-go-out-at-all routine which I am finding isn't good, not good at all. So I have to consciously find ways to see or at least talk to the people I love and get to know the people I don't. I heard of a family that has stopped giving gifts for the holidays (scandalous!) but instead they offer services of themselves, whatever their talents or knowledge may be. How much more meaningful is that? Isn't that what the spirit of giving really means, to give of yourself. I also read a story of a woman who challenged herself with 50 days of selfless acts, and now it is an easy habit for her and her entire family. This is the direction I would much prefer to see myself going in. I abhor being stagnant, but I'm very good at it, tragically.
I am working on thinking positively and listening to my instincts, willingly going outside of my comfort zone, especially with E. The meaning of life phases are never easy, I just hope there is a happy ending, depression medication not-withstanding.
Cheers to my two faithful readers I'm off to finish the dishes before the motivation leaves me crafting instead!

OK so clearly I am not good with this regular updates idea. I don't know what it is, maybe too much happens before I get a chance to write and then I don't know where to start or what to say. Sounds fairly acurate to me.

SO travel dilema... I am travelling in the spring sans husband (his choice), but now he thinks it frees him up to travel to Haiti (sans wife). This is not ok with me but I can't seem to explain it to him well enough for him to understand where I am coming from. He is just immigrating and I understand the pain of seperation from friends and family, and all the work of adjusting, I get it, I do, I went through the same thing when I was there. Without the support of an understanding spouse. But I can't get him to comprehend that it does get better, he will get comfortable in his surroundings and he will get to see his friends and family again. Just not yet, to go now would only result in further anxiety over the choice of coming and having a new family, it would seem a lot more logical to give it up when your not in the face of it. ARRG! so frustrating... maybe this is why I don't write often, its always frustration or unpleasant things. We need a mediator, he seems to just close his ears when I speak, with him thinking his is the only way. I know we will survive and everything will turnout ok, I just want the adjusting period to be as painless as possible for us both. This is all I got for right now. The dishes are calling me.